Movie Review: Garden State

Garden State centers around Andrew Largeman (Zach Braff) and his rather messed up life. His mother was in an accident that left her paralyzed when he was age 9ish, I don't remember exactly. His father, who is also his psychaiatrist, puts him on all kinds of meds so he doesn't feel anything. When his mom dies, Andrew must fly back from LA, where he is a struggling actor, to New Jersey, a place he swore he'd get away from, to attend the funeral. He leaves his meds behind, and begins to experience life un-drugged for the first time in 15 some odd years. Along the way he mets Sam (Natalie Portman) and she opens his world. He also reincounters all of his friends from back when.

This movie was written, directed and starred in by Zach Braff of Scrubs fame. Scrubs is by far my favorite TV show. I was really excited to see what Braff could come up with on his own. I was only mildly disappointed. The ending was total cheese. You know when you are taking an essay test and realize that there are only 5 minutes left and you don't have a conclusion, so you slap the most generic conclusion you know down, just so you have something? That's how I felt about the ending of this movie. Otherwise, this movie was wonderfully done. The movie was querky to the point of adding to the experience and not being distracting. The acting was great. Seeing Zach Braff swear was rather odd. It's hard to not picture JD on screen instead of Largeman. I recommend this movie to everyone who has ever felt like you never wanted to go home again, whoever has been lonely, in love, or experienced a death of a loved one. It's a good movie that you will connect with.


Garden State

Answer to the Math Joke

Adam Steven David knew the answer to this joke. As he is the only one (at least the only one to admit it), he wins.



The answer: The bottom sheep is a "sheared" sheep. A shear is a linear transformation that deforms the original shape by holding some part constant and moving other sides along the line they are on.

Movie Review: Mr. 3000

In Mr. 3000, Bernie Mac stars as Stan Ross, a jackass baseball player who only cares about himself. The day he gets his 3000th hit, he retires in the locker room after the game. This is towards the end of the season, and his team is in the hunt, but he up an retires. Now the twist - 3 of his hits don't count. I don't know why. I was watching this on the plane back from England, and the captain just had to annoounce that we'd reached 37,000 feet at the moment that they explained why they didn't count. If anyone knows why Bernie's hits don't count, I'd like to know. Back to the movie, Bernie must come out of retirement to get his 3 hits back. At this point, he is way past playing age and hilarity is supposed to ensue.

I didn't find this movie particularly good or bad. It was a good movie for a plane. It kept me occupied. I wasn't expecting too much, so I wasn't exactly disappointed. I think that is the key to this movie - don't expect too much. Some parts were good, some were slow, others predictable. I must say that while I saw the ending coming a mile away, it was pretty good. My recommendation to you is to find someone who got suckered into buying it and borrow it for a weekend where you know you will be bored out of your mind the moment you wake up.


Mr. 3000

When Math Textbooks Make Jokes

This picture is from my Linear Algebra book. I know some of my readers have a little math in their background. I've removed the captions with my mad Photoshop skills. Obviously, the top is a sheep. Anyone who knows the punchline that was the caption below the second picture, post your answer and you will recieve a prize* courtesy of me.

*Your prize will consist of the readership here knowing you are a really big dork. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I knew the answer before I read the caption too.

Movie Review: Hotel Rwanda

On Saturday, I took Liz to go see Hotel Rwanda. Hotel Rwanda is the story of Paul (Don Cheadle) during the time of a Rwandan civil war.

Paul is a hotel manager at a exclusive Belgian resort. Many years earlier the Belgians had conquered Rwanda, and made the Tutsi minority their colonial leaders. The Tutsis were no different than the others, the Hutus, except for that they had more European features. But, when the Belgians left, the power fell to the Hutu majority. The Hutu began to mistreat the Tutsi because they saw them as collaborators with the Belgian oppressors. Eventually, the Tutsi and Hutu conflict came to a head, leading to a Hutu militia killing any Tutsi they could find. The movie opens just before the militia comes to a head. This is a basic outline. I know in real life the conflict was 1000 times more complex, but the point of the movie is not who is killing whom, but how it affects Paul, his family, those around him and how he deals with it.

Paul is in a unique situation for two reasons. One, as hotel manager he gets to hobknob with a bunch of very important people. He has a lot of contacts and a lot of people he can cash in favors with. More importantly, he, a Hutu, is married to a Tutsi. When the uprising begins, he must save his family from a band of militia. To save them, he pays for their lives and gets them to the hotel where he works. Eventually, more and more people come to the hotel to escape the death squads wandering the streets. Paul must deal with the UN, a crazed warmonger, a general, and over 800 refugees.

This is one of the most moving movies I've ever seen. I'm not usually a sensitive person. You could probably call me calloused and be right, but this movie really touched me. Even the ending, which I won't tell you more than I saw it coming, still got to me. I expected it and I still almost cried. Don Cheadle does such an excellent job as Paul. I felt Paul. When he was angry, so was I. When he was afraid, so was I. I can't call the Oscar for Best Actor because I haven't seen any of the other performances, but his nomination is well-deserved. I would highly suggest this movie for seeing with someone you are comfortable around. At the very least, you'll need a hug after you're done.


Hotel Rwanda

Racquetball Stitches

As promised, here are my stitches. This is from this morning, about 5 full days later. The mark on my eyelid is the bruise I still have. As you can see I recieved 4 stitches from my little run in with a piece of metal being swung through the air at high speeds.

Thank You

I'd like to take the time to thank a couple of people. First up is anyone who reads this. I put what for me is a lot of effort into this. It makes me feel good that people acutally take the time to read this. To all my friends who tell me at lunch that they thought something I'd written was funny, I appreciate it. To anyone who randomly found my site and took the the time to comment, it's always a welcome surprise.

I'd also like to thank Seth and Stick and Ball Guy in particular. The most obvious thing is that they get me a lot of traffic. I'd say 50% of my referrals are from these two. They were the first people to recognize me and link to me, along with Will. It made me feel really good to know someone actually thought I was worth the link. But beyond that, they are good guys. We correspond about things that aren't necessarily baseball related, and I always feel that I can get an honest answer from them. They have both offered words of encouragement that have been very helpful in making this site what it is today.

Drake Broadcasting Makeout Contest

This goofy bastard won the makeout contest today. Adam and Emily outlasted 2 other couples to win. I am proud to say that I have taken a nap on this man's couch.

Johan Signed

Today, the Twins signed Johan Santana for $40 Million over 4 years. I personally am glad that the Twins got Johan locked down for a good lenght of time. I am a big fan of the 4-5 year contracts. If they overperform on a 1-2 year contract, they can demand a lot more and maybe leave. On the flipside, longer contracts tend to lull everyone into a feeling of complacency. 4-5 is secure, but not too short to risk losing them, nor too long to be stuck with a dud. With Johan and Brad Radke back together, the Twins have the best 1-2 punch in the league.

Lohse's New Deal

Arbitrators gave Kyle Lohse a contract worth $2.4 Million dollars. Lohse had previously been making $395,000. Over the past 3 seasons, Lohse is 36-32 with an ERA of 4.73. I don't know details about how arbitration works, but I think this is a pretty good deal. The Twins were making an offer of $2.15 Million. Lohse has been good when he can get it to work. I think a raise was deserved for Kyle. Last year he was just a little off. And he didn't really win all that much, just an extra $250,000 over what the Twins offered.

Actually a reason to not hate today

I know most of you have no interest in my life to a deep level, I'll try to spare you the inhumanity of details. I'd hate it if I was subjected to mushy crap on a baseball blog.

Over the past few weeks, I've been seeing more and more of Liz. I first met her in Astronomy Lab last semester where I was the lab assistant. We go to lunch, we watched the Super Bowl together, we take walks, all the normal stuff. Last Saturday, we went to see Hotel Rwanda. I was a little apprehensive about a genocide movie for a first real date, but she wanted to see it, so we went. It was excellent, by the way. You (and by "you" I mean you personally, whoever is reading this) would be missing out if you didn't see this movie.

In case you hadn't noticed, today is Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day is a day where you take all the feelings you have for someone and express them in mass-produced items that will either die in a few days or will be eaten. (And as an interesting tid-bit, Donald Fletcher, President of Hallmark, is on the Board of Trustees here.) Today I was faced with a Valentine's Dilemma - what do I get Liz, if anything? We'd been hanging out for a couple of weeks now, but we'd only been on one date, and that was 2 days ago. Something too big, I could scare her off. Nothing at all, and I'm an insensitve jerk. I settled on a small thing of chocolate. It was the most non-threatening way to say "I like you" I could think of. I had to take Adam's girlfriend Emily to the store with me to help and I called Katie once I got there. I was very out of my element.

Also, if by chance you ever see me doing something dumb, like being overly touchy-feely in public or obviously checking out someone else, do me a favor and smack me really hard upside the head. I don't want to be one of "those people".

Update: A big shoutout to Emily and Katie - she loved the chocolate. "For me? That's soooo sweet!"

Mom, I'm Ok, but...

I got hit in the head tonight with a racquetball racket. Andy, the swinger, is a former state wrestler. He's really strong. For anyone who plays racquetball, I hit a shot in the corner that came right back to me. I didn't know which way to go, so I turned right - right into a racquet. The upper part got me in the eye, the strings across my jaw, and then the lower part in the neck.

I initally didn't want to get stitches, but better sense prevailed. It took me a hour and a half to get 4 stitches. I wasn't too impatient, I know a lot of people where there for something a little more serious than a little cut. My camera is kinda acting up right now, but as soon as I take the time to get it working, I'll have pictures for everyone.

The Davises Back Together

I remember back in the day, the Pacers started Mark Jackson, Reggie Miller, Rik Smits, and the Davises - Antonio and Dale. We called them the Davis Brothers, even though they weren't related at all. The team has since moved on, with only Reggie remaining from the teams of my youth. But, the Davises are back together, although not for good reasons. Both made Jeff Merron's list of the most overpaid players in the NBA. I usually think Merron should get a real job instead of sucking money from ESPN to make these lists all the time. I really only found this one interesting because of the Davises. And for you Minnesotans who are Wolves fans as well as Twins fans, check out number 1.

Pacers' Payroll

I found this cool database of player salaries from USA Today. So, I toyed around with the Pacers' payroll. This is what I found out for last season (2003-2004):

• The Pacers are 13th in total payroll with $57 Million. They are about $25 Million behind league-leading New York and $30 Million above last place Utah.
• The highest paid player is obviously Jermaine O'Neal. You'll never believe who is second - Austin Croshere, at $7.6 Million per year. Croshere is a free agent at the end of the year.
• Both point guards, Jamaal Tinsley and Anthony Johnson, are free agents at the end of the year.
• The average salary is $3.8 Million per year, up from $2.5 Million the year before

There is much more to explore on this database. I found it to be pretty cool, but a little cumbersome. It's currently a little out of date, and I'm hoping for an update soon.

Unfortunate for this guy

This is Cristian Brando, son of Marlon. Also, he is a Jimmy Fallon look-alike. Bad career choice man. You are Marlon Brando's son, don't go around looking like the guy everyone remembers as the guy who couldn't stop laughing from SNL.

Canseco, unplugged (or unhinged?)

The big news this week on the steroid front is the new book by Jose Canseco entitled Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant 'Roids, Smash Hits, and How Baseball Got Big. First off, that title sucks. He should have stopped with Juiced. I will say right now that I have no intention of reading this book. I don't like to patronize people who are detrimental to the game of baseball. To this end, I have yet to touch a copy of My Prison Without Bars.

Back to the story. Canseco claims in his book that he and Mark McGwire shot up together while with the A's and that he introduced several Texas Rangers to steroids. I am not inclined to believe Canseco yet. First off, he at one point said that 85% of Major Leaguers were on steroids. Grossly overblown. Also, his rap sheet is quite impressive. I know that jumping to conclusions like that is wrong, but his arrest for Failure to Appear doesn't quite lend him to being all that trustworthy. Lastly, but perhaps most importantly, is that everyone is innocent unless proven otherwise. I'm not going to jump on anyone until they've been shown to me to have taken illegal substances.

Related Links
Yahoo! Story
Jose Canseco Rap Sheet

Weather

Last Friday, I was touting my ability to go out and play football with my buddies. Then yesterday it was a little cooler and raining. Well, right now is 19° and snowing. In under 72 hours, we've lost 40°. That's nowhere near some swings I've seen, but it still sucks.

Tonight's Predictions

When we watch the Super Bowl, we each put in some money and then make our picks. Each correct pick is worth 1 point. Whoever gets the most points gets the pot. In the case of two (or more) people being right, everyone gets 1 point.

Event	My Call
Coin Toss 1	Tails
Coin Toss 2	Patriots Win
First Score – Player	Corey Dillon
First Score – Play	Pass to the flats
First Score – Player (other team)	David Akers
First Score – Play (other team)	Field Goal
Score At Halftime**	14-10 New England
Construction Guy Catches*	3
Corey Dillon Yards*	117
MVP	Tom Brady
Winner	New England
Final Score**	31-17
Overtime?	No

*Whoever is closest gets a point.
** Lowest combined difference gets a point. For example, if its 10-10 at halftime, I'm off by 4. If its 14-10 Philadelphia, I'm off by 8. And so on and so forth.

So join in and tell us, what are your predictions?

My Amazing Gifts

I've come to the conclusion that I possess only two talents: The ability to sleep in a coma and the ability to remember stuff.

The Coma
Our room is set up with a living room with two bedrooms, one on either side. Mark snores so loudly that Seth can't sleep with him any more. Seth was kinda sick, so I offered to switch places with him so he could get some sleep. Seth says he can still hear Mark two rooms away, but it's not enough to keep him up. I, however, can sleep on the bottom bunk with Mark just feet above me like there's no one else in the room. Seth is the one who first declared "Man, you sleep like you're in a coma." Thinking about it, I do. Two true stories

Just a few days ago, there was a phone call at like 8:45 in the morning, and we're all still asleep. Seth is still in my room where there is no phone. However, there is one on his bed where I'm sleeping. It's secured to the bed post, at most 8 inches from my head. Mark ends up answering the phone. Later that night, the two of them are discussing why Mark didn't get it sooner. Someone pointed out that I was actually closest, to which I simply replied "In my defense, I didn't hear it." That was the full-on truth too. I had no idea anyone had called.

Back when we still lived in Indiana, about the time I was 8, there was a storm warning. I went to bed like I usually did. Except about 2 AM, there was a tornado that touched down fairly near our house. My parents carried me down stairs. The winds ripped trees pretty much in half. There were some flash floods. When I woke up, the first words out of my mouth were "What am I doing down here?" I had no idea anything had happened overnight.

Useless Stuff
Some of you long time readers may remember my previous post about Ken Jennings. I'm a poor man's Ken Jennings. It's the kind of stuff that they ask you on Jeopardy that I remember, never anything useful or important. I usually have no idea where my keys are or what homework I have, but I know where Bourbon County is.

The eptiome of my useless knowledge is the Quiz Bowl format known as TRASH. The idea of TRASH is to ask about movies, singers, sports, TV, all the stuff I absorb while my white ass is planted on the couch. At Quiz Bowl the other day, I got 10 out of 20 questions correct. My team won 230-60. With Quentin on the other team, I would have won 210-80.

I have a Jeopardy question-a-day calendar on my desk. Each day, the questions get harder, culminating in Final Jeopardy on Sunday's question. You get to wager the money you've won starting Monday on Sunday. Right now I have $2,400, with an additional $2,000 tomorrow because I know the answer to today's question (It's 3Com Park).

A Joyous Day

Today, February 4- in Iowa- was 60°F. It was beautiful. We just got done playing football. I would have played in shorts if I didn't want to get my legs scrapped up. I did play in a tshirt. A good time was had by all.



60 freakin' degrees!!!

Oscars 2005

I'm one of those people who love films. I have an entire library of movies that I watch when I can. I especially enjoy the art that goes into each film - camera angles, cuts, lighting, dialogue, the lot. The problem is, I'm also lazy. I hardly ever take the time to go see new movies. Driving there, paying out the ass, trying to hear over some stupid kid - none of this is impetus enough to make me get up off my butt. I mostly watch classics. Even though I really wanted to provide some commentary on this year's nominees, I can't. I haven't see any of the nominees except The Incredibles and Eternal Sunshine, and I fell asleep halfway through. I didn't want to, I was really enjoying it. But I was so tired. Back to topic - here are the nominees in the important categories. My commentary is purely based on TV commercials, except for those I already said I saw.

Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

Don Cheadle in HOTEL RWANDA
Johnny Depp in FINDING NEVERLAND
Leonardo DiCaprio in THE AVIATOR
Clint Eastwood in MILLION DOLLAR BABY
Jamie Foxx in RAY

Jamie Foxx looked very Ray Charles-ish in the commercials. He had his mannerisms down to a science. Don Cheadle is also a very good actor. I've read about Hotel Rwanda and it seems like the kind of movie I'd like to see.

Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

Alan Alda in THE AVIATOR
Thomas Haden Church in SIDEWAYS
Jamie Foxx in COLLATERAL
Morgan Freeman in MILLION DOLLAR BABY
Clive Owen in CLOSER

I don't think I'll ever be able to look at Thomas Haden Church and not think "Hey, it's Lyle Van de Groot." What is up with Jamie Foxx? He goes from "Booty Call" to being nominated in two different categories in the same year. The pessimist in me says he doesn't win either.

Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

Annette Bening in BEING JULIA
Catalina Sandino Moreno in MARIA FULL OF GRACE
Imelda Staunton in VERA DRAKE
Hilary Swank in MILLION DOLLAR BABY
Kate Winslet in ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND

We saw a lot of "Vera Drake" posters up in London, probably because she's British. It looked pretty good. Kate Winslet was pretty good in "Eternal Sunshine", but Oscar good? Maybe she did some great stuff after I fell asleep.

Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

Cate Blanchett in THE AVIATOR
Laura Linney in KINSEY
Virginia Madsen in SIDEWAYS
Sophie Okonedo in HOTEL RWANDA
Natalie Portman in CLOSER

Natalie Portman is cute.

Best Motion Picture of the Year

THE AVIATOR
FINDING NEVERLAND
MILLION DOLLAR BABY
RAY
SIDEWAYS

"Million Dollar Baby" just doesn't look that good to me, so it probably has a really good chance. "Finding Neverland" looked kinda cool, but I don't really care for Johnny Depp.

Best Director

Martin Scorsese for THE AVIATOR
Clint Eastwood for MILLION DOLLAR BABY
Taylor Hackford for RAY
Alexander Payne for SIDEWAYS
Mike Leigh for VERA DRAKE

Much is made of Martin Scorsese not having an Oscar. Too Bad. You can be the best for a career, but have someone just a bit better than you just for a year. It sucks for him, but I don't feel the Academy should give him one this year just so he has one.

Things I want to know

Who was the first guy who said:

• "Let's take this plant, roll it up, light it on fire, and suck the smoke into our lungs."?
• "Look, that baby cow is sucking on its mom. Maybe we should drink it too."?
• "Let's take what we got outta the cow and let it sit out. Then we scrape the top off and eat it.*"?
• "I bet if we take this sand and heat it up, it'll turn clear and hard. We can call it glass."?
• "Give me that stick. You, throw that rock to me - I'm going to hit it and then run in circles."?
• "I'm going to strap this piece of metal to my foot then go out on the ice."?
• "The patient's heart is shot. Here's my plan - we take it completely out and give him a new one." (Really, I know it was Christiaan Barnard, but I'd like to have see the other's faces in the room)
• "See that waterfall overthere? Yeah, I'm gonna go over it."
• "Here's my idea for a TV show - we get a crazy Australian to wrestle alligators and get bit by snakes."

What all do you guys wish you knew?

*Really, the entire concept of dairy confuses me.