2005 Best Names Inductees

I'm leaving for a week starting tomorrow, so the induction ceremony has been bumped up to today. This years results:

Name	Votes
Urban Shocker	5
Nook Logan	3
Wes Swackhammer	3
Kiko Calero, Quentin McCracken, Chase Utley	1

Junior Spivey is left on the outside looking in with zero votes. Maybe former teammate Quentin McCracken can help with the Veteran's Committee Selection.

Like I said earlier, I'm leaving tomorrow. I'll be in a cabin on a lake near Ely, Minnesota with no connection to the outside world. I'll be going to the Red Sox-Twins game on Sunday the 3rd on my way home. See you Monday.

Greg Oden

This article by Dan Wetzel just breaks my heart. The part in particular that does it is the combination of "No. 1 player in America", "Indianapolis", and "Ohio State". (Cue music)One of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong.

Growing up in Indiana, I was indoctrinated to love basketball by the time I could open my eyes. Soon there after the question became IU or Purdue. Since everyone at Purdue is a bunch of (unrepeatable), the obvious choice was IU. Plus Dad got his law degree from Indiana.

When I was only nine months old, Keith Smart nailed a baseline jumper to win the 1987 NCAA tournament over Syracuse. I grew up with Bobby Knight all my life until he finally went too far and got his ass fired. Then came the Mike Davis Years. He took a Bobby Knight team to the NCAA Finals, only to coach them to 9 points in the second half and lose. Then he missed the tournament for the first time in 20 years. Then he did it again. Earlier this year I advocated patience.

March 13th - Any rational IU fan will not be calling for Mike Davis' head at this point. He started 3 freshmen for most of the year, and 4 at some times. If Bracey Wright stays for his senior year and can get some of his confidence back, he can be a strong presence next year. With the freshmen maturing another year and one of the better recruiting classes in the conference for next year, IU could be a force to be reckoned with. DJ White was Big Ten Freshman of the Year. White and Robert Vaden both made the Big Ten Coaches All-Freshman team. I'm looking forward to next year at this point.

Well, Bracey left, as I'm sure most readers know. You're all either ASD (IU fan) or Timberwolves fans (Bracey's new team). It's probably for the better. He's someone else's problem now. This year could be good. DJ White is quite the player, and all the other freshmen are good too.

My patience is wearing thin, and this may be the next to last straw. How does Mike Davis not recruit Greg Oden? I would have felt better (although not by much) if he went to Syracuse, Duke, Arizona or any other big program - but Ohio State? No one grows up wanting to play Buckeye basketball, especially not someone from Indianapolis. This is almost worse than missing the tournament two years in a row. I swear if that happens one more time...

Scouts are touting Oden as the best prep player in a long time, maybe ever. One scout is quoted as saying he would have been drafted above Andrew Bogut this year. Oden will be a senior in the fall. Mike Davis should never let Oden go to OSU. It's inexcusable.

At one point, IU was on the short list with Michigan State, Wake Forest, and Ohio State. Michigan State is an understandable option. Tom Izzo is one of the great coaches in college basketball today. He won a championship with Mateen Cleaves for one thing. Wake Forest is usually very competitive. But Ohio State!? No one has come out of Ohio State since Scoonie Penn. Actually Michael Redd is from Ohio State, but I just wanted to say Scoonie Penn. Plus, OSU has a hearing with the NCAA over seven alleged violations that could result in probation or other sanctions. And that's who he picked.

I'm not so much upset as disappointed. Remember that one from your parents? Mike Davis brought in a great class last year. This year's class looks to be good, but not as good as last year. Nail down Oden, who now has to go to college for at least 1 year, and that's three years with which to build. Get all you can out of Oden while he's a freshman and DJ White, AJ Ratliff, and Robert Vaden are juniors and that is a team that can legitimately be a threat to win it all. Instead, these are just the wishes of a frustrated fan.

At least he didn't go to Purdue.

Happy Birthday to my brother Connor. The little bugger is 13 today, ending that odd month where he is 7 years younger than me instead of the 6 years younger he is the other 11 months of the year.

Twins at Yankees

Last night's game was simultaneously exhilirating and frustrating. 14 hits, 8 walks, a hit by pitch. That's a week's worth of baserunners in one game. The Twins left 14 of them on base, scoring only 1 run through 6 innings. My boy Lew had a particularly hard night, going 0-6 with 9 left on, 4 with 2 outs. Without Lew's big o-fer right in the middle of the lineup who knows how many the Twins would have scored.

Johan looked pretty good last night, and it was a good thing. Johan didn't allow a run, earned or unearned, for 7 innings. He struck out 5 and got the win. His fast ball was clocking in the 93 mph region and his changeup was down around 80. Juan Rincon came in and almost blew it. Gardenhire, in an uncharateristically good move, brought Joe Nathan in with 2 outs in the 8th. I've found the use of the closer exclusively in the ninth inning to be too restrictive a theory. Instead of bringing in Mulholland or God-forbid JC, he went with his most dominant reliever. Joe can handle it, he's been a middle reliever in the past. That extra out every now and then when the team needs it isn't going to hurt Nathan in the slightest.

There is one pitch in particular I remember from Johan. It'd didn't have much meaning in the game, but it was a good indication of his night. It was a change up to Jeter and Jeter was way out in front of it and whiffed terribly. I wished by brother was around to see it for educational purposes. I've been helping him with his batting lately, and his biggest problem is not waiting for the ball. I have to simple rules for the kid. Class, welcome to Andrew's Hitting School:

• Don't swing at a ball you can't hit well - I stole this from some one with better credentials from me. I think Ted Williams said it maybe. Take a strike if you have to, it's better than putting a bad swing on the ball and making an out


• Wait for the ball - The ball will get to you eventually. If it doesn't you shouldn't be swinging anyway. Just be patient. This is where Jeter becomes the "how not to swing" example.

And that folks is how to hit .350 and have an OBP of .600 in your high school career. (In the interest of journalistic integrity, I must tell you that I only played 1 year in high school. But still, that's a pretty good year.) Connor has a great eye at the plate. Rule number 1 is not a problem for him. He regularly walks 3 times a game. It's rule number two. When he does actually swing at a ball, he's way out on his front foot. When he starts middle school ball next year he's going to be making a lot of 6-3 groundouts at this rate.



There were two plays at the plate last night with a member of each team being thrown out. Hunter gunned Derek Jeter trying to score from second on a single. Gary Sheffield tattooed that ball and actually hit it too hard. It got to Torii fast enough to be able to make a play. Notice that Mauer is blocking the plate with his left knee, the one he injured last year. This is a good sign that his knee is fully or very fully back to strength.




Then there was whatever Boone is doing here. I don't know what Scott Ullger was doing coaching third base, but it's obvious he doesn't know what he's doing. I don't think Dave Sveum would have sent Bret Boone. You can't fault Bret Boone for going - you have to listen to your basecoaches in these situations. What you can fault him for is his "slide". Posada may be better than Jamie Burke, but that doesn't mean you can't knock him flat on his ass. If you know you're going to be out, at least make him earn it.



PS - Does anyone else constantly type "Torri" instead of "Torii" and have to hit backspace a few billion times just to write a post?

New Rant

"All of man's achievements have just been an attempt to impress the opposite sex" - ????

I don't remember where I got that. It was probably Dave Barry. Or maybe Zapp Branigan. Why do I bring this up? Because last night I went to a RAGBRAI dance/party thing. I hate dances. I don't like loud noises. I don't like being in large groups of people, especially when 99% of the people I don't know or don't like. And I can't dance and am too shy to try. I get very uncomfortable in these situations. I know I talk big sometimes, but deep down dances and big parties terrify me. Throw all this together with the fact I was cold, and I was having a really crappy time. You may be asking yourself "why go then?" Why do guys do anything? A girl, of course.

I stayed about 2 hours, about an hour and a half longer than I wanted, then went home. I just kinda slipped out the back. I know everyone would have tried to make me stay. I walked home, which was actually quite pleasant (nice walking weather and quiet) except for the fact it was a mile and a half in the boots that I can't walk right in. I kept rolling my ankle. I didn't get home till 1:30. So now I'm tired, sore, and just a bit cranky. So, you may be asking yourself now "why tell everyone?" Just an explanation for my mood that has induced my latest rant. Here we go.

Work

Work sucks. Work sucks for everyone, I know, so I'm not really looking for sympathy or pity here, just venting. I hate my work in particular. There's nothing like working claims numbers for Alabama auto accidents all day. I've spent the better part of a week on these, and the person I'm doing it for doesn't even know what she wants. This morning she said "This would probably be a little easier for you if I'd thought about this a little." Not a good way to start my day.

You know how good you feel when you actually accomplish something through your hard work. Today that feeling came when I figured out where I'd messed up on my sudoku puzzle I was working on. Yesterday it was when I made these pictures:

Art

How in the world is this art? I could take a piece of metal and knock a few dents in it too. A hail storm will do the exact same thing. I should know, I've run the numbers on hail damage, too. What, I can't hang colored lights, is that it? I've seen this before - it's called the bar at every wannabe trendy place imaginable. The caption from Yahoo! is

Metal artist Robert Foster stands besides his work titled 'Flame Beneath the Sea' at a exhibition featuring a range of designs using aluminium at the Melbourne Museum. (AFP/William West)

I hope Robert is pleased with himself. What angers me the most besides his recognition for an apparent lack of talent would be the fact that the government probably financed this. At least it's the Australian government.

Golf

Not so much the game itself, but an article by SI's Chris Lewis called Hole Bunch of Trouble (be careful, there's a second page). First off, what a great pun you putz. I absolutely hate crappy ass puns like these. If you're going to make a play on words, it'd better be something creative like "Mess o' potamia" or don't bother.

On SI's main page, the link to the article has "If it weren't for putter woes, Vijay Singh would be having a better year than Tiger" as the tagline. Does anyone else find the this incredibly stupid? If I were to say to you "Juan Castro is just as good as Michael Young, except for hitting" or "Manny is just as good as Vlad...until you put them in the field" you'd look at me like I were a dumbass, which I would be for saying these things. Michael Young and Vlad are better than Castro and Manny because they have more well-rounded games. Saying that someone is better than someone else except for the fact they can't do half of their job is just flat out wrong. Come out and say that Vijay has a good a long game as Tiger. Don't try to tell me that Vijay is just as good if he obviously isn't. Just say that some parts of their game are comparable.

To his credit, Lewis does take this approach. In the article, Lewis writes

But Vijay Singh (the sweater vest remark should have been a hint) is having a much better year than two-major Tiger ... at least from tee to green. Putting, alas, is another story, and has turned what might have been an astounding campaign into a merely good year pockmarked by periods of abject frustration.

He pretty much continues to lay out that if Vijay could putt, he'd be just as good as Tiger, but until he can he won't be. It's like saying that Manny could be better than Vlad if he could actually catch the damn ball or maybe throw someone out before the Red Sox win the World Series again. I blame the webmaster for this, not Lewis. This may just be semantics, but it still pissed me off.

Charity

Now what could piss me off about helping those less fortunate than myself? Nothing. I have no problem with it. It's the morons in charge of these things that do it. I saw a flyer in the break room today that had 2 really dumb things on it.

1. This charity helps "sexually abused children/adults" which is fine, except for the fact that that's pretty much everyone. They could have just said "people" and they would have been fine, unless they don't want teenagers, in which case they should say so.


2. The fundraising part is when you buy a $10 dollar gift certificate and you get a pizza. OK, I'm listening. The flyer continues to say that the charity only receives $3 of your original $10. Guess what a pizza costs at the place helping out? Yep, $7. Go down town with a ten, buy a pizza and drop the $3 you have left at the office and you've done the same thing. Except this way, you get to feel like you're helping out with $10 instead of just $3. It's a little shady if you ask me, and I don't like it.

ESPN

Read this latest spew by SBG whipping boy Tim Kurkjian. It's headline reads "DiMaggio's streak remains a remarkable feat" to which I say "no shit, Sherlock" The entire article is just a rundown of who's come the closest since DiMaggio set the record in 1941. Anybody, anybody with access to the internet, Baseball Encyclopedia, a sports almanac, or any other comparable source could easily look this up. Instead, Kurkjian writes up an article about it, gets paid, and we're all supposed to be impressed. And I thought Kurkjian had a thing for Jeter. Joe's ghost had best say away from Kurkjian unless he (it?) wants to get his/its leg humped. Just another example of the fine work done at the World Wide Leader.

Here's my new idea - Dream Job for article writers. Have people write articles and submit them. Then take the best of them and bring them in for interviews and to write articles on specific topics. Winner gets primo ESPN.com webspace. Also, the winner gets to kick someone off the site.

A Little Bit of a Ramble

Jim Souhan had a pretty good article today The Boone Doesn't Hit, and he also doesn't fit. The article had some pretty good jokes in it, like how trading for Boone was a cheap as "screw-top Chianti". That made me laugh in particular because of a bad experience with cheap wine. When your buddy forgets about a box of Franzia in the back of the fridge for a few months and then tells you he was "just aging it", don't believe him and whatever you do, don't drink it.

Back to baseball - It's become quite obvious that Bret Boone is not what the Twins needed. I said back a few weeks ago that

at best, Boone contributes to the club and they make the playoffs. At worst, the Twins have another light-hitting middle infielder and miss the playoffs. Either way, the Twins hardly paid anything for him.

I think this is on its way to "at worst", but it doesn't have to be. So far the only good thing about the Bret Boone Experiment is that the Mariners footed the bill. You can bet that with this crappy showing by Boone that the Mariners' player to be named later won't be too spectacular. Boone is not contributing to the team at all. I think I want Rivas back. They're hitting about the same, and Luis could at least turn a double play. Say what you will about his bat, but Rivas was very quick on the double play. I've only seen Boone turn one double play to my liking. He's not had a lot behind his throws, which he's getting to too slowly in the first place. He's messed up one and barely gotten others. And one against Detroit the runner was incorrectly called out. I'm putting Boone's double plays at 1 good one to 5 or 6 bad ones.

This doesn't have to be the end of the Twins playoff hopes. The trading deadline is Sunday, which gives Terry Ryan 6 days to get the Twins where they need to be to make a run. Looking around the team, there is no reason they shouldn't make the playoffs. Look at who left. Mientkiewicz, Koskie, Guzman. They are hitting a combined 0.214/0.355/0.274. Guzman is having the worst offensive season in recent memory. Koskie is on the DL again. Mientkiewicz has been his usual self - flashes of batting ability interspersed among feeble attempts to get on base. Their replacements, Morneau, Cuddyer, and Castro, are hitting 0.251/0.411/0.312. The Twins made the playoffs last year with those guys, there's no reason we can't with these.

Morneau getting back on track is what I feel is the Twins best shot. It seems to me that Morneau is swinging at crap away because he doesn't want to get busted inside. He's overcompensating and swinging at anything that's outer half (or farther). This is my proposal, of which I'm only half-joking. Waaaay back in the day, 5th grade, I wanted to catch. The only problem was that I was terrified of the ball. To counter this, my coach put a mask on me, stood about 10 feet away and lobbed the ball into my face. He wasn't throwing it hard at all, but it made me realize that I'd be fine with all the gear on. Now I voluntarily put myself in front of balls traveling too fast to see as our goalie in intramural hockey. (Disclaimer: I'm also slightly insane) What we do with Morneau is stand him at the plate and let Rick Anderson hit him the head a couple of times. This will either knock some sense into him or make him not worry so much about the inside part of the plate that he feels like anything away from him is hittable, even if it is in the other batter's box. Whether he wants to admit it or not, getting wanged in the head is going through his mind everytime someone comes in on him.

Short of going intentionally hitting our first baseman, Terry Ryan should try to find another bat. Rumors have started about the possibility of an Alfonso Soriano trade. I will say this - I like how skinny he is. He keeps my hopes up for skinny guys everywhere. This is probably the best comparison I can give you as to how skinny I am. Soriano is listed at 6'1", as am I, but I am 20 pounds lighter than him. Other than holding it down for us beanpoles, I'm not sold on the idea. I wouldn't want to give up the future for a rent-a-player. If I had to choose between kicking some serious tail in the next few years and missing this year's playoffs or making the playoffs this year and then struggling for a few years to come, I'll take this postseason off and wait a year. Mike Lowell's name has also floated around. Unless the only reason he can't hit this year is because he misses Mike Redmond so much he can't take his mind off of him, then don't bother.

My favorite option is calling up Jason Bartlett. Wasn't he sent down to get his swing back? Back in May, Gardy had this to say about the send down:

We talked about him getting back to being the offensive player he is. He tried to do little things up here, shoot the ball the other way, maybe a little too much. We really believe Bart will be a very good offensive player in the big leagues.

Well if 0.330/0.399/0.467 doesn't count then I don't know what does. Seemingly, the only problem would be where to get a roster spot. Luis Rodriguez? Nick Punto? I say Bret Boone. I think this option should be explored after the trading deadline. You can call people up all the time, but you can only trade so long. If the Twins don't make a move and the Terry Tiffee Experiement v3.0 doesn't work out, I'd look into this option quite seriously.

Keep Your Day Job

Omnipresent Voice: This is "Keep Your Day Job". This week we have Linda Cohn, Bill Walton, Tony Reali, Skip Bayless, and John Kruk all fighting to stay at ESPN. Last man standing gets to say. Now here's your host Stuart Scott.

Stu: Welcome to "Keep Your Day Job" Big ups to my man the voice. Hugs and handpoun--

Al: Leave.

Stu: What?! Dawg, don't do me like this! I'm not even playing!

Al: Either am I. Get out.

Linda Cohn: For the love of elimination!

Al: You too. Get.

Linda: But he was just responding to a good intro.

Al: Didn't you hear me the first time? L-e-a-v-e, leave.

Bill Walton: You threw her out, big man!

Al: See ya, Bill.

Bill: You can't do this to me! I played for John Wooden at UCLA!

Al: I said leave.

Bill: I will not!

Tony Reali: I wish I had my mute button. I'd shut him up real quick.

Al: And take stat boy with you. Anybody else got anything to say?

Skip: Palmerio isn't a Hall of Famer, Lance Armstrong isn't a great athlete, and I'm a self-righteous son of a bitch.

Al: At least you got one of those things right. Unfortunatly, that's not enough. Kruk, you are technically the last one here, if only because you haven't said anything yet. You'll still have to earn your keep. Now just say one thing, one thing, that doesn't make you sound like a horse's ass and you can stay.

Kruk: Batting average and wins are the two most important stats in the history of baseball.

Al: You are one dumb man, Kruk. All you had to do was not come off as a complete dumbass and you blew it. Why did I even hire you in the first place? Damn it. I've elmininated all of you and we're not even to the first commercial. Would someone cue up some pool or poker or something? Maybe we can show "Hu$tle" again.

Omnipresent Voice: Stay tuned next week where Dick Vitale, Stephen A. Smith, Sean Salisbury, and Jeff Brantley compete to stay. Seriousy, Stephen A? Why should he even bother showing up? Anyway, this has been "Keep Your Day Job" a presentation of ESPN, the World Wide Leader in Sports.

Sign Him Up?

Last night during Craig Monroe's most recent demolition of Twins pitching, Dick and Bert jokingly suggested trading for him. Remember when he damn near hit the Kent Hrbek picture at the Dome last year? I got thinking, would this be a good trade? The Twins have been lacking offense and he is hitting very well. So I took a look at some stats.

First, this career numbers starting with his first full year in the majors.

	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	TB	BB	SO	SB	CS	OBP	SLG	AVG
2003	128	425	51	102	18	1	23	70	191	27	89	4	2	0.287	0.449	0.240
2004	128	447	65	131	27	3	18	72	218	29	79	3	4	0.337	0.488	0.293
2005	93	339	43	99	19	3	11	63	157	27	54	7	3	0.337	0.463	0.292
Totals	389	1288	170	346	66	7	55	211	591	89	245	16	11	0.315	0.459	0.269

You can see hit runs and hit totals are up over the first two years and he's well on pace to passing them again. Extra base hits are up again, something the Twins haven't been hitting many of. Only the Mariners and White Sox have fewer XBH than the Twins. The Tigers have 20 more than the Twins. Walks are also up, and strikeouts are down. He already has as many walks now as he did in 2003. Everything seems to be on the up and up with Monroe.

Now I see the question as is he as good as he looks against the Twins, or is it the Twins? These are Monroe's 2005 numbers.

	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	TB	BB	SO	SB	CS	OBP	SLG	AVG
Overall	93	339	43	99	19	3	11	63	157	27	54	7	3	0.337	0.463	0.292
vs Twins	9	37	6	18	5	1	2	12	31	1	2	1	0	0.500	0.838	0.486
vs All Others	84	302	37	81	14	2	9	51	126	26	52	6	3	0.326	0.417	0.268

Using rough math, about 1/10th of Monroe's games have come against the Twins. In just 1/10th of his games Monroe has accumulated almost exactly 1/4th of his RBI and about 1/5th of his TB. I recalculated his season numbers as though he played 93 games, the amount of games he's played, but without playing the Twins at all. This should tell us how much of an impact his outbursts against the Twins have helped his numbers.

	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	TB	BB	SO	SB	CS	OBP	SLG	AVG
Overall	93	339	43	99	19	3	11	63	157	27	54	7	3	0.337	0.463	0.292
No Twins	93	334	41	90	16	2	10	56	140	29	58	7	3	0.326	0.417	0.268
Difference	0	-4.6	-2.0	-9.3	-3.5	-0.8	1.0	-6.5	-17.5	1.8	3.6	-0.4	0.3	-0.011	-0.046	-0.024

It would seem to me that the Twins have had an impact. At this point in the season, Monroe would have 6.5 fewer RBI, 17.5 fewer total bases and 9.3 fewer hits. Other than that, there is practically no difference. His slugging percentage would be lower by almost 50 percentage points, batting average by 24 points, and on-base by 11 points.

The verdict? Why not. Using his numbers as if he'd never played the Twins this year, take a look. He'd be:

• first in games played and RBI
• third in at bats, hits, doubles (tie), and SB (tie)
• fourth in runs scored, TB, BB, and HR (tie)
• fifth in triples (tie)

but also

• fourth in K
• ninth in OBP
• seventh in SLG and AVG

It looks like he'd be able to help the team offensively. His numbers are fairly similar to the other outfielders: Stewart, Jones, Hunter, and Ford. Defensively he's only made 2 errors in 813 innings.

The problem becomes where do you play him and who do you trade to get him. In a perfect world the Tigers would take Jacque Jones off of our hands. Throw in Bret Boone for Placido Polanco and the Twins instantly become better, once Polanco is off of the DL that is. That of course is a fantasy. I don't see the Tigers even trading Monroe. He's a big piece of their future. But a man can dream can't he?

Ouch

D-Train Rollin'

I just read this article by Skip Bayless, and for once he didn't have a bad case of recto-craninal inversion. The story was re-write of "Willy Wonka anf the Chocolate Factory" using sports figures. I'm still not sure if Skip knows he's not funny and doesn't care a la yours truely or he thinks he's a commedian. Either way, the not-so-subtle humor is not-so-funny. But at the heart of the story is a good message.

This version has recast T.O. and Drew "The Antichrist" Rosenhaus as the Gloops. Greedy and out for themselves, they end up lost in a hall of mirrors. Just because he saved a kid doesn't mean he's not the devil incarnate. Remember, the devil takes many forms to try to trick us. Then Manny Rameriz is that cowboy kid who is just thrilled to be broadcast on that TV like thing. Manny gets shrunken to oompa-loompa size and is just as happy as can be. Kenny Rogers is a combination of Veruca Salt in the sense he gets what he wants when he wants it or he throws a fit, or some punches, and Violet Beaurgard in the sense he gets brought down by a piece of gum. Larry Brown is turned in to a wax figure after lying about the Knicks/Pistons fiasco, something entirely new to the story. And finally, our hero is none other than the D-Train himself, Dontrelle Willis. At the end of the story, Willy Wonka tells Dontrelle

Young man, I want you to know you're my favorite player. You give us all hope. I ask you never to forget what you witnessed today, and I ask you never to change.

Keep playing baseball like you're the luckiest darn kid in the world. Treat the game and your fans with respect and humility, and you'll never have to worry about money again as long as you live.

This is where (I can't believe I'm typing this) I agree with Skip Bayless.

Remember back when Tim Kurkjian rolled out his "Face Of Baseball"? The one that got SBG all in a huff. You could practically here Kurkjian fantasizing about having carnal relations with Jeter from here. Well on ESPN.com's Page2, Eric Neel, one of my more favorite writers at ESPN, wrote a retort to Kurkjian called "For The Face of The Game". He named all the little things players do that make the game great, like all the scuzz on Biggio's helmet to David Eckstein's "pluck". In the article he said some nice things about Dontrelle:

You insist on the NYC poster boys?

Not me. I say it would be better if the face of the game was Dontrelle Willis' mug. And not just the face, but the kick and the lid too.

I definately agree with Bayless (it hurts to type that) and Neel. I love Dontrelle. First off, "Dontrelle" is a great name. It's the kind of name that you could go Brazilian soccer player with. You say Dontrelle and everyone knows who you're talking about, like Pele or Ronaldo. This is the kind of name I would not advocate replacing with a nickname, but I'll make an exception, because "The D-Train" is just about as good.

Dontrelle brings a much needed dose of "It's just a game, so have some fun" to baseball. With people like TV executives, owners, and Scott Boras sucking the life out of the game Dontrelle is just what the doctor ordered. I love watching Dontrelle pitch with that leg kick. The first thing my brother did when he saw that was go out back and try to do it. Now tell me that's not good for the game. Kids and adults alike can appreciate Willis. Kids see him as just a big kid, someone they can relate to. With adults, everyone's inner child is just delighted to see someone have that much fun with baseball. I know I occasionally throw one with the leg kick and my hand half way down my to the ground just because it's fun.

The only prescription is more Dontrelle!

I seem to be using that word a lot - "fun". Is it too much to ask for our ball players to lighten up a little bit? Normal people go to the park or watch on TV to have fun, so why can't the players have fun along with us? There's no reason any baseball experience should ever not be a great time. Sure you're team my lose, but you should at the very least have a good time while you're there. I think people would live longer if they had more fun in general. Do you know what a leading cause of death is among both men and women? Heart disease. Do you know how you get heart disease? Genes and stress, and one of those you can control. So, in conclusion, watching Dontrelle Willis pitch will help you live longer, along with diet and exercise.

Batting Milestones

With Rafael Palmerio's 3,000th hit recently, I began to wonder how many people I remembered reaching milestones. The first one I remember was Paul Molitor. Dad told me about it the next morning, but I didn't really understand why it was such a big deal. He explained to me how it was a very big milestone Molitor reached and it was a great achievement for a player. Also I remember thinking Dad was saying Palmolive, and I was really confused as to why soap was playing baseball. So here are the batting milestones I remember, some better than others.

3000 Hits

Paul Molitor	3319
Eddie Murray	3255
Cal Ripken	3184
Tony Gwynn	3141
Rickey Henderson	3055
Wade Boggs	3010
Rafael Palmerio	3010

500 Home Runs

Barry Bonds	703
Sammy Sosa	584
Mark McGwire	583
Rafael Palmeiro	568
Ken Griffey	522
Eddie Murray	504

Soccer Weekend

Saturday I went to a soccer doubleheader at Chicago’s Soldier Field. The undercard, as it were, was the Chicago Fire playing host to the Columbus Crew. The main event would be Real Madrid against CD de Guadalajara, commonly known as Chivas.

We got to Soldier Field about a half hour early for the first game. Our tickets allowed us into an air-conditioned portion of the stadium that would prove wonderful. The areas behind the stands on either side of the field are enclosed concourses that allow a respite from the heat, which would prove invaluable. We waited in there as long as we could until the games started up and during every break.

Fire – Crew

The main highlight of this game was great goalkeeping. It seemed as though the offenses could not score for their lives. Every shot was turned aside, but for a goal each. Also, I noticed that I recognized the referee. He was the idiot from the last game I watched on TV. He blows his whistle 5 or more seconds late all the time. He’s wildly inconsistent with his foul calls. Also, I’m pretty sure I saw him look to the players for the call once. Other than some very good saves, this game was rather unremarkable. The crowd was almost non-existent, except for the ever-vocal Section 8. It didn’t help that Chicago was without their one-name-wonder Thiago, who is out with an injury, and Columbus was without star Frankie Hejduk, who was serving our country’s national team in Gold Cup competition. No one was there to see the Fire, they were there for Madrid.

Real Madrid – Chivas

The feeling in the stadium was palpable the minute Chicago and Columbus walked off the field. People couldn’t wait for Madrid to come out. Once Chivas came out, people got even more excited, and it was just for warm-ups. We couldn’t see into the tunnel, but the people that could started yelling the second Madrid lined up to come out. My brother just about lost it just waiting. When they finally appeared, the crowed roared at a volume I’ve never before heard at a sporting event. It was louder than the Metrodome during the playoffs, only they would have been cheering that loudly for BP. The teams warmed up and then retreated to the locker rooms to get changed into their kits and make their grand entrances. Youth soccer teams got to stand with the players for the anthems of Spain and Mexico. During the anthems David Beckham put his hands on the shoulders of the girl in front of him, who was about 11 or so. The look on her face was something along the lines of “OH MY GOD! DAVID BECKHAM IS ACTUALLY TOUCHING ME!” She even got interviewed for the news afterwards and she could hardly talk she was so thrilled.

As for the game itself, it was absolutely remarkable. I’ve never seen just deftness and skill before. And it wasn’t just Madrid. Chivas was a worthy adversary. Players were dribbling the ball as if it were on a string. Ronaldo borrowed a page from Ronaldino and pulled an elastico, which does exactly as it sounds. It’s pretty much the crossover of soccer. Passes looked like they were being guided by remote control they were so precise. Take those And1 shows that ESPN2 won’t stop showing, and then imagine moves like those without using your hands. Maybe it’s just because I have trouble walking in general, but the feet of these players are awe-inspiring Plus, they were showing off. It was just a friendly, so the only thing on the line was pride. The players knew that the fans came for a show, so the put one on. The first half was just the teams toying around with each other, not really trying their hardests to score.

Considering Columbus is one of the worst teams in MLS, these teams made them look like fools. The level of play was far above that of the day’s first game. I really can’t get over the skill put on display. The players, especially Zidane, did moves you’ve never even thought of. They did things that made you say, “Did you see that move? How’d he do that?” all while making what they were doing look so effortless, so smooth. If I had to pick one word to describe the game it would be “grace”. Soccer, more than any other sport, is poetry in motion. People talk about the ballet-like qualities of turning a double play, but soccer makes the 6-4-3 look like me trying to do the hustle.

Even with all of grace and fluidity, the game was not without its share of aggression. There were 5 yellow cards handed out, including one to David Beckham in the first 10 minutes. When Beckham was called for a handball a few minutes later, he was running around looking for someone to clock. People were issuing good, hard challenges to the ball. A lot of people ended up on their backs trying to get through the defense, but it was all clean of course. Speaking of handballs, someone on Madrid practically caught a ball right in front of the Chivas bench and he got away with it. The Chivas fans weren’t bashful about letting their thoughts be known over the non-call.

The game entered the half tied 0-0. During the break, we went back to the air-conditioned room I was telling you about. When we got there, a guy in a very expensive looking suit was being mobbed. People were shouting at him, shaking his hand, and asking for pictures with him. The whole time he was very polite and accommodating. None of us had any clue who he was, but we knew he must have been important. I took a few pictures of him and we went on our way. It turns out he was Emilio Butragueno, Real Madrid Vice President and former player. Back in his playing days (1984-1998) he was known as “El Buitre”, the vulture. He was a member of 6 league champion teams at Madrid, and won 2 UEFA Cups, 2 Copa Del Reys, was named Best European Footballer twice, and won the Pichichi in 1991 for leading the league in scoring. He’s kinda a big deal. I accidentally met one of Madrid’s most famous players. I suppose if Larry Bird was walking around Madrid few Spaniards would recognize him. Well, I suppose it depends on how many people remember him and the Dream Team destroying people in Barecelona.

After the break, things started up right where they left off. Fancy footwork abounded, but no goals. Eventually Chivas opened the scoring around the 73rd minute. After that, Madrid got down to business. No more just screwing around, it was time to score. Friendly or not, Madrid wasn’t about to lose to a Mexican league team. Madrid tied the game 5 minutes later on a Beckham free kick. Chivas committed a foul just outside the left corner of the box. Beckham curled the ball around the wall to the head of Mejia who put the ball in the back of the net. Madrid scored again in the 88th minute from Jose Guiterrez to take a 2-1 lead. Chivas appeared to tie the game at 2 in stoppage time, but the goal was waived off for interference. One of the Chivas players knocked over the Madrid keeper, and the goal was disallowed. While Chiavs players were standing around yelling about the call, Madrid quickly restarted play and streaked up field. Chivas was left with one man back and three Madrid players to defend. The keeper had no chance and the final goal was tallied to bring the score to 3-1. After the whistle the players left to a chorus of cheers for a game well played.

This was without a doubt one of the coolest things I’ve ever gotten to do. I wish I could compare the atmosphere of the stadium to something Americans would be more familiar with, but I can’t. There’s nothing like it anywhere here. If you ever get the chance, catch a European team on their summer tour of America or catch the Men’s National Team. Sorry ladies, but while you may play a great game, the crowds are quite pathetic. Sitting at home is also a sad substitute. I will openly admit that soccer is one of the worst games for watching on TV. The game is too fluid to translate well, much like how hockey is much better in person. Games like baseball, football, and basketball are much better for TV where plays have beginnings and ends. Soccer is just 45 minutes of pure athletics. Take my word for it and take in a game near you. You won’t regret it. Or forget it for that matter.


PS - Check back later for pictures. Film is getting developed as we speak.

USA! USA! USA!

In the newly released FIFA World Rankings, the US Men's team is ranked a historic 6th. This is the highest the men have ever been ranked. The men were ranked as high as 7th a few months ago, but slid to 10th in the intervening time. With their current string of demolishing opponents in Gold Cup play, the US vaulted 4 spots in this months poll.

The Brazilians retain their familiar #1 ranking, followed by Argentina and the Netherlands. The US is ranked ahead of such world powers as France (7), England (8), Spain (9), and Germany (11). US protectorates continue to bring up the rear with Guam and American Samoa coming in at 204 and 205, respectively.

Twins Bloggers

I'm still working on my recap of my Chicago weekend for you. There's quite a bit to go over, so it's taking a little while. In the mean time, I've been meaning to mention some of my comrades in arms. As usual, it's list time:

• SethSpeaks.net - Seth's big draw, at least for me, is the minor league updates. Seth usually has a discussion question posted for people to respond with and then he posts them. It's really cool to see some other people's thoughts.


• Stick and Ball Guy - He's recently started SBG, the Online Magazine, and I like the new format. SBG has really stuck it too the media a couple of times, finding flaws, errors, and flat-out falsehoods in articles from Jim Souhan to Tim Kurkjian. I don't know how he feels about this comparison, but in some posts it's like The Daily Show of the Twins blogs. Fight the power.
  


• Aaron Gleeman - Let you be warned, this site is not for the passing fan. Aaron can, and most likely will, get very in depth with his statistical analysis. I could pretend to tell you what most of them mean, but I won't. I usually have to look up how he calculates his stats. Once you get the hang of the more advanced stats, it's usually pretty interesting.


• Sun ap led Wo d - Frightwig's site is pretty new to me, but frightwig isn't. FW is a frequent poster at Bat-girl (which for some reason I've not read in quite some time) and I've only recently found this site. The post about Rivas was really funny. I'm not sure why there is a d, p, and o missing, but I've also never asked


• AMR's - AMR is new to the blogging scene, having first posted in June. That doesn't mean he's not quickly climbing up my list of daily reads. My favorite part - most of the posts are in list form. He uses numbers as opposed to the far superior bullets, but to each his own. Besides being formatted in such an exquisite way, the content of said lists is also great.


• Will Young - Will has a non-sexual man crush on Matty LeCroy. We all have our NSMC - Jack Bauer - but why Matty LeCroy? Why? When was the last time LeCroy saved the world from the Mummy? Or had a daughter like Elisha Cuthbert? Well, I supposed Will's NSMC is at least a real person. I like it when he charts each pitch and how they affected the game.

These are the blogs I make sure to read everyday, or at least at the first chance I get. You should too.

I'm Back

I'm back from Chicago. It was a heck of a trip - a total of 13 hours in a car, 3 on a train, 9 miles on foot, 5 people in a 1 room apartment, 2 soccer games, and a migrane so bad I actually threw up just under 56 hours. I think I've got some great shots of the soccer game. I acutally missed my real camera, so you'll have to wait for the film to develop to see. As soon as it does, I'll scan and post them. Until then, I'll just leave you with what I think is the biggest story of the weekend.

Off To Chicago

I'm off to Chicago to see a Fire-Crew game followed by Real Madrid - CD Chivas. You may know some of the people on Real Madrid. They represent the biggest names in soccer. They are like the Yankees, even down to the pretty good player who everyone proclaims is God (David Beckham in this case, as opposed to Jeter) Some of the people you may have heard of: David Beckham, Zinedine Zidane, Raul, Figo, Ronald, Roberto Carlos, and Michael Owen. It's definately going to be awesome to see.

vs.


vs.

Weekly Posts Combined

Today I got the thinking about how many of today's stars I've actually seen in person. So I tried to remember everyone I could, and this is the list I came up with, pretty much in chronological order:

• Ken Griffey, Jr. - Mariners
• Alex Rodriguez - Mariners and Yankees
• Frank Thomas - White Sox
• Cal Ripken, Jr. - Orioles
• Mike Piazza - Mets
• Scott Rolen - Phillies and Cardinals
• Miguel Tejada - A's
• Barry Bonds - Giants
• Albert Pujols - Cardinals
• Rafael Palmeiro - Orioles
  
• Sammy Sosa - Cubs
• Craig Biggio - Astros
• Jeff Bagwell - Astros
• Ivan Rodriguez - Tigers (twice)
• Johan Santana - Twins (twice)
• Gary Sheffield - Yankees
• Ichiro - Mariners (Spring Training)
• Alfonso Soriano - Rangers (Spring Training)
• Mark Texieria - Rangers (Spring Training)

This is everyone I could remember this good. I may have left out some people, but I think this is most of them. All in all, I counted 20 MLB games and 4 Spring Training games. There is this week's list. Now for the question.

Without a doubt, seeing Ken Griffey, Jr. on the Mariners was the greatest thrill of my baseball life. Ken Griffey has been my favorite player since I remember watching baseball. The game I saw him in was August 16, 1997 at Comiskey. It was the first Major League game I ever went to. My parents got me the tickets for my birthday. They gave them to me in a box that had had frozen veggies in it and I remember thinking "What?! They got me vegtables?" and then opening it and being so excited. It was supposed to be a double-header but the second game got rained out. The storm driving home was one of the worst storms I'd ever been in. If you look at the lineups of the game, they were some pretty good teams: Griffey, Rodriguez, Edgar Martinez, Frank Thomas, Ozzie Guillen, Albert Belle, Mike Cameron, Ray Durham. I'll remember that game until the day I die. And somewhere along the line I'll be telling my grandkids all about Ken Griffey, Jr. and how their grandpa got to see him play.

This week's question is:

What major league player or game was your favorite to be at in person, like my Mariners game? It could be because of the player involved was a favorite growing up or there was a historal significance to the game or just the fact it was the first game you ever went to.

2005 Best Baseball Names

Here are the rules:

• You can vote for four names. We work on the honor system here, so don't ruin it for everyone else
• You can vote until July 26th
• The top four vote getters will be inducted on July 31st
• In the event of a tie for fourth, both players will be inducted

The poll is in the sidebar and will remain there until the 26th. Happy voting.

Boone Trade

Big news from the office of Terry Ryan this week - the Twins have acquired Bret Boone from the Seattle Mariners. The Mariners had designated Boone for assignment back on July 3rd. The move came just 2 days before Boone would have become a free agent. Reports say that all the Twins will pay of Boone's salary is the league minimum for the number of games left to play,
somewhere around half of $316,000. In addition, the Twins will also send a player to be named later to the Mariners.

Disregarding Boone's numbers for a moment, he looks like the steal of the year. Paying about 2% of his original salary gets the Twins a veteran second baseman and leaves the Mariners with 98% of a contract for a guy they don't have and a minor leaguer. Assuming the minor leaguer would have earned near the league minimum once he made the majors, all Terry Ryan did
was effectively turn a minor leaguer into Bret Boone at no cost to the Twins.

Looking deeper, things looks a little less pleasant for the Twins. Boone's numbers are down across the board for the last few years. A common explanation for this is that Boone is off the juice. Whether Boone used steroids or not has not been proven, but I would think the accusations would be some distraction to the guy. He's either guilty and knows he's been found out or genuinely innocent and worried about clearing his name. Either way would suck, although if he did take them he brought it upon himself and I have little sympathy.

To me, the biggest question is not whether Boone will be productive at the plate or not. The question is what becomes of the infield. If you assume that Boone was brought to Minnesota to be the everyday second baseman, then Nick Punto and Luis Rivas are relegated to backup. Without Jason Bartlett, Juan Castro has firmly entrenched himself as the starting shortstop. This leaves thirdbase to determine. Michael Cuddyer had played there, and while I'm sure he was trying his hardest, it wasn't going as well as it could have. Now Cuddyer is on the DL after being hit with a pitch. Glenn "Gerald" Williams had been playing there, but he's on the DL too. (Side Note: Wouldn't DL2 be a great rap name?)

In all, 6 Twins have seen time at third (in order of innings played): Cuddyer (540.2) , Luis Rodriguez (85) , Williams (81) , Terry Tiffee (44) , Nick Punto (15) , and Michael Ryan (1). Removing Cuddyer and Williams for being on the DL and Tiffee for being in Rochester, the Twins are left with 3 players who have played 3B. Michael Ryan's only inning came in the 9th
in Kansas City on June 29th. Michael Ryan only played over there after a Torii pinch hit for Castro, so Lew had to slide to left and Ryan had to move to third, moving Rodriguez to second, moving Rivas to short where the aforementioned Castro had been playing. It was all just a big game of musical chairs. So realistically Rodriguez and Punto are the options. Rodriguez looks like the obvious candidate while Nick Punto, who has played at 2B, SS, and 3B this year, will be able to give anyone a day off who needs it.

This looks to stabilize the infield fairly well. I still have concerns about the new lineup though. What happens when Cuddyer and Williams start coming off of the DL? If Rodriguez's performance is up to the standard he has been playing at, he would appear to be a better defensive option than Cuddyer. I imagine the organization would have to send Rodriguez and Ryan, or one of those two and Williams as soon as he's activated. Which is a shame because I was taking a liking to La Bamba. (Don't worry Lew you're still my boy.) What if Bret Boone tanks even worse than he has? Would the Twins send him down to make room for someone coming off of the DL? Can they even send him down or would they have to designate him like the Mariners did? Someone really needs to write "MLB Contract Rules for Dummies" including a chapter on minor league options and a chapter on waivers.

Overall, I'd say I'm cautiously optimistic about this move. I don't really think Boone is enough to help the Twins reclaim the AL Central, because that would take a little divine intervention from the baseball gods. Boone may be enough to help nail down the Wild Card. At best, Boone contributes to the club and they make the playoffs. At worst, the Twins have another light-hitting middle infielder and miss the playoffs. Either way, the Twins hardly paid anything for him. So at least in that respect this move wasn't bad at all.

2005 HR Derby

Well, that was quite the show. I had a good time watching that. I want to announce here that I called Bobby Abreu before the show started. I was going post my picks, but I had to work late. Anyway, believe me or not, but I picked him. Unfortunately the only witness I have is Dad. He doesn't even know this little corner of the web exists, so he can't really back me up. Dad barely understands blogging, so he'd be of little help to me.

And did you see those kids "fielding" those balls? Those kids were awful. I was laughing so hard at times. That one fat kid (I know, next time I'll be a little less specific) dropped the ball, fell over, rolled over to pick it up, then started yelling and carrying on like he just robbed someone of a home run. What a putz. There was one kid who could actually catch. He was the black kid that looked to be about 15 and actually had a clue what to do. Terry Ryan should shop pictures of this kid around Detroit, find out his name, and then put him on the "To Watch" list. Just you wait and see. In 10 years when that kid's patroling the Twins outfield, remember you heard it here first.

Double Plays

It seems like the Twins ground into a lot of double plays. They also turn their fair share, especially with Silva on the mound. This got me wondering, where to the Twins rank in GIDP? In DP turned? What's the difference and where do they rank on that? It turns out the Twins are 6th in DP fielded with 87, which is slightly better (not quite 1 standard deviation) than the average of 80. In GIDP, the Twins are tied for 3rd with 77. This is almost exactly 1 standard deviation from the mean of 69. Where does this difference of +10 leave them? Right in the middle. The average difference is 12. The Marlins are +39 to lead all teams, while the Giants are -12, meaning they've grounded into more than they've fielded. The only other teams in negative numbers are the Orioles (-8) and the Red Sox (-5).

Furthermore, there doesn't seem to be much, if any, correlation between double plays and wins. The correlation coefficient between GIDP and wins is 0.0007, fielded and wins is 0.0377, and difference and wins is 0.0309. Q, perhaps the smartest kid I know, tells me these numbers mean there is almost no correlation between double plays and wins. I would have expected the teams that turn more DP to win more, but that's not the case.

	DP Fielded	GIDP	Difference	Wins
Arizona Diamondbacks	95	69	26	43
Atlanta Braves	100	72	28	50
Baltimore Orioles	77	85	-8	47
Boston Red Sox	68	73	-5	49
Chicago Cubs	79	61	18	43
Chicago White Sox	83	63	20	57
Cincinnati Reds	68	65	3	35
Cleveland Indians	74	71	3	47
Colorado Rockies	85	66	19	31
Detroit Tigers	82	71	11	42
Florida Marlins	105	66	39	44
Houston Astros	72	54	18	44
Kansas City Royals	76	61	15	30
Los Angeles Angels	72	71	1	52
Los Angeles Dodgers	75	74	1	40
Milwaukee Brewers	73	67	6	42
Minnesota Twins	87	77	10	48
New York Mets	69	55	14	44
New York Yankees	80	71	9	46
Oakland Athletics	84	77	7	44
Philadelphia Phillies	73	64	9	45
Pittsburgh Pirates	97	76	21	39
San Diego Padres	70	68	2	48
Seattle Mariners	74	64	10	39
St. Louis Cardinals	99	68	31	56
Tampa Bay Devil Rays	74	71	3	28
Texas Rangers	80	50	30	46
Toronto Blue Jays	82	67	15	44
Washington Nationals	77	72	5	52
AVERAGE	80	69	12	44

LAST CALL FOR BASEBALL NAMES

Your submissions for are due Monday night. When I wake up in the morning on Tuesday and check my mail for the first time, that's the last time I'll take submissions. Then starting Tuesday night you'll have 2 weeks, until July 26th, to vote. The number of inductees this year will be determined after all nominations have been recieved. The induction ceremony will take place the following Sunday to correspond to the Baseball Hall of Fame inductions.

Current Nominees:

• Nook Logan
• Wes Swackhammer
• Kiko Calero
• Junior Spivey
• Quentin McCracken
• Urban Shocker

and veteran's committee (i.e. me) inductee Cletus Elroy "Boots" Poffenberger.

What I'm Watching Tonight

Boy am I excited. Two of my favorite shows are back for new seasons tonight, The Surreal Life and Celebrity Fit Club.

The Surreal Life

Washed-up celebs are thrown in a house together, how could this not be great? Take people who for some part of their life were constantly in front of the camera, then weren't, and put them back in front of it. Most of them are so happy to be back on TV at all, they don't care how. This years cast is:

• Bronson Pinchot - Cousin Balki from "Perfect Strangers" and the art gallery host in Beverly Hills Cop
• Omarosa - From "The Apprentice". I don't watch that show, but evidently she's a bitch.
• Janice Dickenson - Former supermodel. I say former because she's had way to much plastic surgery to be pretty anymore.
• Jose Canseco - Former MLB ballplayer. Admitted steroids user. His book Juiced helped start the MLB crackdown on performance-enhancing substances.
• Sandy Denton - Better known as the Pepa half of Salt & Pepa.
• Caprice - As far as I can tell, she's famous for being hot. And unlike Janice, she still is.
• Carey Hart - Motorcycle Rider. He was the first man to do a backflip on a motorcycle in competition. His motocross career is still going strong, so I'm not quite sure what he's doing here.

This season seems the most dysfunctional, at least on the surface, of all the previous seasons. After last season's lovefest where everyone got along most of the time, I think the producer's are shaking it up. I see Bronson becoming the father figure of the house, there always is one. In the past this has been the job of Dave Coulier, Christopher Knight, and Vince Neil of all people. Then there's gonna be the omnipresent reality TV hookup. If Carey wasn't married to Pink (blech!) I'd say it was going to be him and Caprice. She's probably got a thing for bad boys. After that, I don't know. Carey's married and Bronson isn't exactly a good looking guy. That leaves Jose Canseco, ahhh! I think a hookup of Jose and Janice would far surpass Flava Flav and Brigette Nielsen on the yucky scale. Who will take Da Brat's role of thinking they are still relevant? Also, Omarosa and Janice will be in the biggest bitch fights yet seen on reality TV. You heard it hear first.

Celebrity Fit Club

Take overweight, washed up celebrities and have them try to lose weight. This year, the only returning hosts are Ant and Drill Sergeant Harvey. Gone are Dr. Katz, nutritionist, and Marissa the therapist. They've been replaced by Dr. Smith and Dr. Papadopoulos, respectively. Now the contestants.

• Jackee Harry - I know her as the mom from "Sister, Sister". You older people may recognize her from "227", whatever that was.
• Gary Busey - This season's resident psycho. I'm already rooting for whichever team he's on
  
• Willie Aames - From "Eight is Enough" and "Charles in Charge". Never heard of him.
• Victoria Jackson - You'll probably recognize her from SNL or if you're really a dork UHF.
• Toccara Jones - Was on "America's Next Top Model". I don't watch that one much, but she was pretty popular according to her bio.
• Wendy Kauffman - You know her as Wendy the Snapple Lady. She was actually on season one, so she's back for more. She's either got a thing for Harvey or she's really serious about losing the weight.
• Jani Lane - Lead singer from Warrant.
• Phil Margera - The oft-tortured father from "Viva La Bam" I think Don Vito would be funnier.

I don't know how I'm going to like the new hosts. If I like them, this will be a great season. Things you can take to the bank: someone will develop a crush on Harvey, someone will be a diva and show up late or not at all, Wendy will be nice for most of the show then snap, and someone will lose a lot of weight and you will hardly be able to tell.

Does This Bother Anyone Else?

The Boston Red Sox are the 2004 World Series Champions. That in and of itself boggles the mind, but that's not what I'm talking about. It's the way they carry themselves as such. You men won any sport's highest honor - to be called "champions". How about you start acting like it?

I'm not asking for much. Maybe a hair cut or two. This is coming from a guy who wears a headband to play tennis and racquetball not because it looks cool, which it does of course, but because he can't see otherwise. I am the last person on Earth who you want telling you to get a haircut. Also, some nicer fitting uniforms would be nice. Honus Wagner may have rocked the pajama look, but that's how they rolled back then. Now you just look like a bum. And one more thing - wipe some of that pine tar off of your helmet. Some is fine, I understand if you need to enhance your grip mid-AB. The state of some of those helmets makes me think they've been left out in the mud or something.

Many things come with being called "champion". You get a special ring, a trophy, a parade, free drinks from any Bostonian for the rest of your life. With being the best comes certain responsibilities, among them a certain level of decorum. Like them or not, the Yankees know this. Even though they haven't won a title in awhile, they still come to the ballpark everyday looking like they have. Even Jason Giambi got a shave and a haircut. Instead, the Red Sox look like bums. That may have been acceptible last year when no one expected a title from you. But you won - you are champions, so act like some.

Just a few things

I have a couple of questions to ask you guys along with some funny stuff to tell you about.

First, the questions. What do you guys think of the weekly discussion question and/or the weekly list? I know there's only been one of each, but I've not been getting a lot of feedback on them. I don't really want to take the time if no one's interested. Also, do you like the random quote generator?

Now the funny. Did anyone see Outside The Lines Nightly last night? Dave Parker and Andre Dawson were on talking about how difficult it is to hit for the Triple Crown. When asked what the best part of his game was, Parker responded thusly:

I had above-average foot speed and I put the ball into play with authority.

Quite possibly the greatest quote in a long time. First off, if I were a major leaguer, I would want my batting style to be described as "putting the ball into play with authority". Secondly, I'm not quite sure Dave Parker had "above-average footspeed". He of 154 SB and 57 triples in 19 years.

To close out tonight, check out the credits on Wikipedia for Jimmy Eat World's album Bleed American. Travis Keller and Doug Messenger are credited for their "timely handclaps". What kind of credit is that? They better be timely, they're professional musicians. Would you expect something like "dude who can't keep time worth a crap".

New Feature: Weekly List

By now I'm sure you're aware of my affinity for things in list manner. My posts are riddled with bulleted lists and I've more than once commentedthat I'll watch just about any show that is the "Top 10 something" or "100 Worst somethings", usually to the detriment of my school work. Because I like lists so much, I'm going to do a weekly list. This may be 5 items, just 3, or 20 - really however many I feel like. At the end, I'll list my least favorite, what I'm going to start calling the "Purdue Pick" although that name will probably change once I think of something more creative. My goal is to foster some discussion. People always have an opinion on who should or shouldn't be on a list. The recent All-Star Game talk is a perfect example. This weeks list is:

My Favorite Sports Commercials*
*Keep in mind these are the ones I like the most, not necessarily the ones I think are the best. There's a difference. Also, this is by no means a complete list.

• "Chicks Dig The Longball" - All around funny. I don't know if Glavine yelling "Step into it Alice!" or the voice Maddux and Glavine use at the end "Have you guys seen Mark?" is funnier. Those two play it serious so well.


• "Sport is Sport" - I've written about this commercial before. It's unusually deep for a commercial, especially a sports drink commercial. I just think its a cool way to say that no matter who we are or where we live, we all have sports in common. I am reminded of when the US and Iran played in the 1998 World Cup. 20 years of strained diplomatic ties out the window, if only for 90 minutes on the pitch.


• Tiger bouncing the ball - This is seriously one of the coolest things I've ever see someone do. I don't know of anyone with a set of clubs who hasn't tried this at least once. My favorite part is when he just wails on the ball out of mid-air at the end.


• "This is Sportscenter" series - A vast majority of these are hilarious. My favorite lines are when Charlie Steiner yells "Follow me - follow me to freedom!" in the Y2K test and when Clemens says "it's gonna be a while" when he's copying a stack of K's at the copy machine.

Purdue Pick

• Mean Joe Green Coke Commercial - Maybe not growing up with Mean Joe Green terrorizing offenses has something to do with it. Maybe living in an age where athletes are more visible to the public contributes. No matter what the reasons, I don't like this commercial. I think the biggest part is that it's really just an average commercial that people inexplicably fawn over. This is the Derek Jeter of sports commercials. It's not bad by any means, but it's not nearly as great as people make it out to be.

When Payroll Goes Awry

What if I told you there was a league where the favorites to end the season with the best records had odds like the following:

Team A	10/11
Team B	3/1
Team C	16/5
Team D	18/1

Now imagine there are 16 other teams with odds ranging from 125/1 to 500/1. This doesn't seem like a very competitive league, now does it?

Well today I stumbled across odds for the 2005/06 English Premier League odds. Team A is Chelsea, B is Arsenal, C is Manchester United, and D is Liverpool. League payrolls vary from 115 Million Pounds for Arsenal to a mere 11.5 Million Pounds for West Bromwich Albion. This is approximately $200 Million to $20 Million. The team favored 3/1 to win the season title has a payroll 10 times that of the team given a mere 500/1. I would hate to go into a season knowing I had a 1 in 500 chance of winning everything while I had to play people who had chances of 5 in 16 or 1 in 3.

Payroll may not have an exact effect on wins, but there is a correlation. Some teams manage to win with smaller payrolls and others with larger payrolls may stumble. But as a general rule, more money can bring in more wins.

You may be thinking to yourself "these numbers seem familiar" and you'd be right. How about $205 Million for the Yankees and $36 Million for the Royals, the ends of the baseball payroll spectrum? Before the season even started, KC had about as much chance to finish with the best record in baseball as West Brom did in England.

Read into this what you will. I just found the similarities too striking too be purely coincidence.

Twins Notes

Today the Twins won 7-5 over the Los Angeles. See what I did there? "Los Angeles" is Spanish for "The Angels" and it is the town they claim to be from. Clever, eh? Anyway, this brings the Twins to 7-1 over their last 8. Granted, 2 were from KC and 3 from Tampa Bay, but at this point I think they'll take what they can get. The frusterating part is that the Twins are still 8 1/2 back. Now just some quick notes:

• That was some home run that Vlad hit. The ball was damn near at his ankles. I personally got to see him hit a home run like that in Milwaukee while he was with the Expos. If you have not seen Vladimir Guerrero hit in person, I suggest you get tickets to do so.
• Luis Rodriguez started at 3B today after Michael Cuddyer was put on the DL. This is a first for him.
• Speaking of Rodriguez, I've taken to calling him "La Bamba". When the camera angle is just right, I think he kinda resembles Lou Diamond Phillips as Richie Valens. It's not a great resemblence, but it's enough to get him a nickname.
• Speaking of Lou Diamond Phillips, he'd be in the Best Baseball Names club if only he'd been a baseball player. If anyone knows of any baseball role he's played, maybe I'll start the "Actors" wing of the museum. He not only has a middle name like "Diamond" but he also fits the criteria of having a name that sounds like you're booing him when yelled.
• Little Nicky Punto was back in the lineup today after pulling his hamstring a month ago. Glad to have you back.
• Have you ever noticed I like things in bulleted lists?

MLS Logos: Western Conference

See also: Eastern Conference

Every team has an identifying logo associated with it. Some are better than others. To me, soccer has the best logos. Of all the sports, soccer logos seem to have the most spirit to them. Most come in the shape of some sort of crest or shield. These are my favorite. They have a sort of warrior feeling to them, like there is going to be an epic battle. They are a badge to be worn with pride and honor. I'll be discussing the Western Conference shields in terms of originality, creativity, colors, imagery, soccer inclusion, overall crestness, and just general impressions. Presented in the only order that makes sense to a neurotic kid like me, alphabetically by city. I had to shrink the images to save space on the page, so click on each logo for a full-sized view. Trust me, they look much better large.

Chivas USA

In respect to their more established sister team Chivas de Guadalajara, Chivas USA has taken their logo and made only minor adjustments: changing "Guadalajara" to "USA" and removing the stars. Each star symbolized the league championship of the team. Chivas USA, if in some sort of miracle, wins the MLS Cup, they will add a star as well. Part of me likes this logo for knowing its roots. Another part would like to see something original. Overall, the old school side wins out.

Colorado Rapids

Everyone together now - round is bad! We like shield shapes. Furthermore, this is a lackluster circle. If you're going to produce crap, at least make it good crap. A ball and your team name does not a logo make. Next time, try making a logo with something more advanced than Clip Art and Word Art.



FC Dallas

I like the basics of this logo. They have a nice red, white, and blue thing going on. Texans are very proud of being Texans, not to mention Americans too, and the filters down to their soccer logo. The bull looks pretty angry. As I mentioned with DC, angry animals are a plus. The "96" is a nice touch, alluding to the first year of the team's existence. I don't like the little red Texas on the bull's forehead, that's just a little too much for me. With the 96, Texas, and star, it kinda looks like they just decided to throw a couple of things on at the end. Leave of the Texas and it's a great logo.

Los Angeles Galaxy

An interesting twist on the shield theme. They took the shield and gave it a galaxy shape. Now, being an ex-astronomy major, I take issue with the 3-pointed galaxy. While there may be a 3-pointer or two out there, galaxies are by far usually only 2 pronged. The yellow swirl is nice, but I don't like the bulging "GALAXY". Please, no bulges, they bothers me, especially against a swirlly background. Overall, this is a nice twist.

Real Salt Lake

This is actually the alternate logo for RSL, but I like it better. It features an overarching crown, because as we all know "real" means "royal" in Spanish. The interlocking R, S, and L are nice, but I think the S and L are too dark of a red for the navy background. They blend in more than they should. The starred soccer ball, which we've seen before, is always a nice touch if done correctly, as it is here. Extra points for the star being in RSL red.

San Jose Earthquakes
I think in this case, simpler would be better. They took a nice shield, and then obscured it all to hell. The soccer ball in this case actually needs to be smaller. "Earthquakes" needs to be shrunk a little bit and moved inside the shield under the "San Jose" banner. The banner itself is just fine where it is. A little more color diversity would be nice. The logo has no pop to it because of the color similarities. And I'm not sure what the sun/fire is doing behind the ball, unless it's to remind you SJ is a warm place to be. A couple of small refinements here would greatly improve this logo.

Overall, these are some fine logos. Final thoughts:

Chivas USA- Never forget where you're from. Represent!
Colorado Rapids - Worse than the KC logo.
FC Dallas - Angry animals are always a plus.
LA Galaxy - Props for trying something a little different. Of course I'd be blasting them for trying something different if it didn't work out.
Real Salt Lake - Simple, yet effective.
San Jose Earthquakes- I see a great shield there, but it's hidden behind too much of everything.